I've always hated guns, but why I especially hate guns

I lost my loving in-laws John and Linda on 11/4/15. It was a murder suicide. John was dying quickly from pancreatic cancer, while his wife was living her worst nightmare, which also happened to her mother. She survived a stroke after being resuscitated and ended up in a nursing home. After many months, they were reunited at home briefly. My husband was taking care of them cooking dinner and heard the first gunshot and ran out to the pool (Linda's holy place) to see what it was. He and his sister Susan witnessed his mother Linda being shot and tried to get the gun from his dad John and was shot in the arm in the crossfire. I was at a new job and literally felt this happened. I felt like I had a heart attack. I had 3 sharp pains in my chest/left arm. I had just missed an IM from my husband Scott. He didn't respond. I went outside to call him, which was unusual for me to do at work. He didn't answer. I knew something was wrong, so I left work a little early that day. I was driving up 360 in a dead zone and had missed a call from the Houston fire department. I called them back and they said they had no idea who it was, it could have been anyone. I called his sister Sheila when I got home and told her I thought something had happened to them. I couldn't get a hold of Scott, Susan, John or Linda. Scott is always available via electronics. He is an electrical engineer. I decided to buy some cider and take my dog on a walk to the park. Not too much longer I got a call from my nephew in-law Nate, Susan's son. He said go home, and I'll be there to pick you up. I asked what was wrong. He said shit has gotten really bad and I'll tell you when I get there. I thought the whole family was dead for about an hour. Shortly after I got home, I got a frantic call from his dear sister Sheila. She was hysterical and said my dad lost it and shot Linda, John, Susan and Scott. We thought they were all dead, thanks to the Houston news. Sheila's best friend Rae from Houston saw the news coverage that said 4 shot and killed with a picture of their house. Nate and Emily arrived, and shortly after that I got a call from Susan and Scott, so I knew Scott was alive. I was so fucking happy he was alive that is all I could think about. We drove to Houston and were reunited with Scott, and Susan. Poor Susan witnessed the whole event. However, the 6 months prior to this event were so stressful witnessing the suffering of both John and Linda and the lack of care they were getting from traditional medicine. John and Linda were Catholic. John was a sharpshooter in the navy. He was an engineer and fixer of all things. He decided to fix this situation by taking their lives. They were both shot in the heart with little to no blood or mess. He had done his research and knew he had the support of the church as far as suicide goes. This was truly an act of love. Scott, Sheila, and Susan were risking their lives, families and jobs by traveling back and forth to Houston all the time to care for them and John knew that and I knew that. Caregivers are twice as likely to lose their lives. This was not sustainable. Linda and John were suffering immensely for many months. John's body was turning black from the cancer and his organs were shutting down. Linda was crying all night, shoot me, shoot me. John was up all night coughing and throwing up. They were finally at peace and that's all we choose to focus on. My point to this story is guns are dangerous. He planned to shoot 2 and shot 3. He was very skilled and trained and used specific bullets and did his research and shit still happened he didn't plan for. Scott is fucking lucky to be alive. My dad John "Jack" Roberts died 2 years and 2 days later. He hated guns or would have chosen to take his own life as he mentioned that to me many times over the past year or two. He has suffered so much pain from congestive heart failure and spinal deterioration. I wish I had some enlightening words to share, but I don't.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/assault-weapons-not-protected-second-amendment-federal-appeals-court-rules-n724106

The healing power of reiki findings

I recently started reading "The Healing Power of Reiki" by Raven Keyes, well actually, listening to via audio book.  It's lovely being with the actual voice of Raven Keyes.  Her book has inspired me in many ways so far.  I sometimes lose faith in my beliefs when being questioned by someone that mainly moves from their mind space rather than their heart space, and was having a hard time putting to words what reiki is until I read her book.   Reiki is an ancient form of energy healing from Japan, which came from Dr. Mikao Usui in the early 1900s.  It is passed down through symbols during a reiki attunement.  It is only found to be successful when exchanged for money or some gift of love. It is loving kindness energy, and like love is hard to put words to.  It's a feeling that has to be experienced.  In my experience, reiki allows me to move into a deep relaxation state and I feel the energy and therapeutic heat move through my body from the hands of the practitioner.   I don't think anyone can argue that a deep relaxation state is highly healing, as well as a gentle loving touch.   She also reminded me that during times of natural disasters is when reiki is most needed, like during her heartbreaking services on ground zero after the buildings collapsed in 911.  She was literally keeping the service men and women alive by rejuvenating their energy through reiki energy healing aka loving kindness.  I found it interesting and helpful to know that geranium oil is used for trauma healing and release of bad memories.    I'm also saddened to hear that many that witnessed 911 or worked during/after are still experiencing PTSD.  I had already been using it for menopausal symptoms and was ecstatic to hear about the help with PTSD too.  She also practices reiki in the operating room in NYC (thanks to Dr. Mehmet Oz) to increase the success chances of surgery, while decreasing the risks and pain during and post.  I'm truly honored and blessed to be a Reiki Master and absolutely cannot wait for my Medical Reiki training this weekend!  I believe the universe is moving me away from the current narcissistic, instagram, fancy pose, public yoga studios and into the meditation and energy healing world, and for that I'm grateful.

Yoga for Auto-Immunity, Health and Wellness

I was diagnosed with Graves Disease 2 years ago after having a rapid heart rate, inability to handle stress, depression, tiredness, mood swings, deliriums, insomnia, hot flashes and weight loss.   I was in a job that I hated, was being treated terribly and it triggered some past trauma.   I had also joined a boot camp and was eating eggs for breakfast every day.   Little did I know, I was allergic to eggs and my body couldn't handle that level of stress from a work out.  I'm a fast paced person naturally, so my work is slowing down and walking better suites me now.  I felt I had hit rock bottom, but things keep getting worse.  One major crisis after the next went on for at least another year.  I was in and out of jobs, lost many relationships, and my health was very slowly getting better, but I had lost my will to live and quite honestly lost faith in god and humanity.  Why is this happening to me?  Fast forward 2 years and the question is; why is this happening for me?  Since then, I've learned to listen to my body, ask for help, pursue my dreams (as scary as that is), learn to set boundaries, clean up my environment and choose who to surround myself with, and cleaned up my diet and drinking.  I'm still working on the self-love thing.   I've learned that I'm meant to help others that are suffering from auto-immune disease or health issues in general.  Here's what I can provide;

• A non-judgemental safe space
• Deep listening
• Unconditional love
• Therapeutic yoga postures to relieve pain and decrease inflammation
• Breath work to calm the nervous system
• Guided meditation to rediscover who you are
• Reiki energy healing
• Help you find the answers you already have inside
• Teach you to slow down
• Encourage you to receive and practice self-love
• Your pain will never be too much for me to bear
• Auto-immune/Anti-inflammatory nutrition recommendations

I'm so grateful for my yoga practice which has saved my life over and over again.  My teachers; Gioconda, Jenn Wooten, and Angie Knight for helping me re-discover my true self and providing unconditional love and support.  My loving and supportive husband Scott Howell.   My soul sister Phoebe Polkavich for always being there, always understanding, and never giving up on me.