A little love poem

I wanted to share with you a little love poem I wrote one morning.  I was called to do so in my meditation today, so here it goes. 

It goes a little something like this:  Self Love.  True love.  Romantic Love.  Messy Love.  Authentic Love.  Love Love.  Unconditional Love.  Like real love.  An equal exchange of energy love.  Healthy reciprocity of love.  Healthy Love.  Playful Love.  Soulful Love.  Spiritual Love.  Energetic Love.  Love Love.   Real Love.  Hot Love.  Long Term Love.  Fire Love.  Passion Love.  Protection Love.  Safe Love.  Adventurous Love.  Supportive Love.  Easy Love.  Real Love.  Long Term Love.  Committed Love.  Communicative Love.  Compassionate Love.  Self Love.  Love for ALL.  Snuggly Love.  Soft Love.  Eye gazing into the soul love.  Physical Connection Love.  Touch Love.  Sex Love.  Fucking Love.  Making Love.  Supportive Love.  Love everything about me love.  Love everything about you love.  Dedicated Love.  Love Love.  Real Love.  Fun Love.  Healthy boundary love.  Family love.  Friend love.  Playful Love.  Music Love.  Free Love.  Travel Love.  Committed Love.  Honest Love.  Truthful Love.  Balanced Love.  Love Love.  Independent Love.  You just know love.  Soul Love.  The real deal love.  Truthful Love.  Love takes me home to myself love.  I love you!  I love me!  I love all!  Unconditional Love is where it's at love.  

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8 steps on how to transmute codependency to independence.

 I want to share with you 8 steps on how to transmute codependency into independence.   

What is codependency?  "Codependency is a relationship imbalance where one person enables another person's addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. Among the core characteristics of codependency is an excessive reliance on other people or things for approval and a sense of identity."

1.  The first step is awareness.  Do you always need to be with someone else?  Do you feel bored?  Do you lean on drugs, alcohol, sex, relationships to make you feel "good"?  Do you go around trying to please people all the time?  Do you say what the receiver wants to here instead of the truth?  Have you lost your sense of identity or self?  Are you experiencing mental health issues?  Are you feeding into someone else's addiction or bad behavior to make yourself feel better?  Are you constantly trying to fix and control things?  Do you look to others for approval?

2.  Learn to be okay alone.  This may just take a little time or practice.  Some people like to be alone more than others.  Some people need more alone time than others to recharge.  Other people get recharged from others.  Regardless, be okay with being alone and make time for it and learn to enjoy it.  Read a book, journal, take yourself out, find joy in your day, get out in nature, exercise, do yoga, meditate, take a weekend trip by yourself.

3.  Know your self worth and self love.  Let go of the story that you aren't worthy.  It's not true.  It's social conditioning passed down from generations and inherited from ancestors.  You are worthy of love.  You are good enough.  You are exactly where you need to be. You are not the problem.  You are gifted.  You are unique.  You are consciousness and we are one.  Repeat positive affirmations back to yourself multiple times a day until you start to believe them.  Write love letters to yourself every morning until you believe it.  Surround yourself with people that see you and support you a 100%.  Don't settle for less.  You deserve it!

4.  Let go of addiction.  Practice presence and moderation in everything you do.  Know why you do it.  Feel it to heal it.  Get to the root of the trauma that caused the addiction.  Be gentle with yourself.  Practice self love.  Replace it with something healthy and enjoyable.  Make small changes and take it a day at at time.  Find a group to support and connect with you during this process.

5.  Let go of toxic relationships.  Listen to your body.  If someone or something doesn't make you feel good - let that shit go.  Life is too short to settle for negativity, shallowness, control, manipulation, abuse, or emotional unavailability.  Surround yourself with people that vibrate at the same level as you.  Watch Esther Hicks (Abraham Hicks) on youtube regarding this topic.

6.  Learn the difference between transactional love and unconditional love.  I will love you if you take the trash out.  I will love you if you tell me nice things.  I will love you if you clean the house.  I will love you if you do the dishes.  I will love you if...  Do you get my point?  That is transactional love.   Transactional Love is when we give to get back something in return. When you keep tabs of what you have done for someone and get emotional when they don't do the same – more than likely you're giving to get. Most of us are guilty of doing this at some point in our lives – if we're honest.  Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations, or love without conditions. Love for all people regardless of their actions.

“Compassion isn’t some kind of self-improvement project or ideal that we’re trying to live up to. Having compassion starts and ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourselves, all those imperfections that we don’t even want to look at.” —Pema Chodron

7.  Practice presence, consciousness, inner joy and inner peace.  They're an inner state of being.  It's a choice.  You are not your emotions or your mind.  Eckhart call this your pain body.  You are much bigger than that.  You're soul.  You are consciousness.  You are joy.  You are peace.  The mind is what tells you otherwise based on social conditioning or past experiences or limiting beliefs passed on from violent communication.   Do less, be more.  Read the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

8.  Set healthy boundaries and say no when necessary.  Set healthy boundaries with others by stating your needs and feelings compassionately.  Say "no" if it doesn't feel good or feels violating.  Consent is important.  Always ask before assuming something is okay.  Know when something is out of your scope and refer out.  If you don't have the energy - don't take it on.  Don't take on more than you can handle.  Create an energetic bubble around you to seal in good energy and seal out bad energy.  If something feels to good to be true - trust that.  Manipulators and energy vampires or entities are typically very charming.  If you feel tired after hanging out with someone - trust that.  Be careful of who you allow into your space.  Trust your gut and trust your feelings.  If a message comes through that doesn't feel good via text/email, etc...  - trust that.   If physical pain comes on suddenly and abruptly it might not be yours.  Protect yourself by discharging or book a reiki session with me to clear your energy field.  

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brene Brown

Would you rather be independent and lonely or codependent and lonely?  I will choose independence, thank you!

www.naturalrhythmyoga.com

Gratitude & Grief there is room for both

Can you hold the space for both gratitude and grief?  

"Remember that if you look for the light in your life, and move towards it, you will find something wonderful. Remember even in the darkest of nights, you can look up, and see the stars and know there is something much bigger than you guiding you through your days. And remember that it is our responsibility, much like the light on my tree, to be the lights for others who cross our path on this earth.

Be the light for someone today, and the next day, and the next day, and the one after that too. Be the light that may help someone find there way out of their own dark night."  -Kelly Buckley

I can't think of a day that has gone by since last December that I hadn't cried at least once.  I typically make space each morning for the grief to arise from all the losses and traumas over the last several years.  2020 has been quite the year for all and we are grieving together on a global level, because we have all lost who we thought we were, and are finding out what is important to us, whether we want to or not.  So, even though I start my mornings off with many tears, heart ache, and pain, both physically and emotionally, I still find time for gratitude and love.  I still choose the path of love and light rather than darkness.  I start my morning off with some coffee, a journal, and a colored pen of my choice for what resonates with me that day.  I write what's on my mind even if it's not "positive" or "good" or "grateful".  I write positive affirmations about myself and love letters to myself.  I write a page of gratitude.  Some days I simply just don't feel grateful, and that is okay too.   I make space for it all to be there.  

I meditate each morning and find time for some mindful movement.  I'm not sure what I would do without these practices.  I used to walk each morning with my dog and enjoy the beauty that surrounds me, and haven't had the courage or willingness to walk alone since her passing.  I'm working on finding a new healthy habit that resonates with me until I get another dog.  I'm resting more.  I'm nurturing myself more.  I'm discharging more.  I'm reading self help books.  I'm focusing on myself and my spiritual journey.  I try to spread love and light wherever I go, and sometimes this isn't being nice and is setting healthy boundaries.  I put myself first, so that I have the capacity to help others.  I try to be present and mindful with every task I do.  I try to focus on compassionate and non-violent communication.  I go to bed early and wake up early.  I'm mindful about what I put into my body.  When the pain is too much to be bear I reach out to others that can help me process and hold room for it to move through.  

How do you show up for yourself to make room for both gratitude and grief?  I'd love to hear from  you.

Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light. ~Norman B. Rice

www.naturalrhythmyoga.com

How to stay soft during uncertainty and challenging times.

 How to stay soft during uncertainty and challenging times.  

It's been a big year 2020!  It's been a big week with all the astrological shifts, retrogrades and the election.  There is so much uncertainty, deep healing opportunities, or fucking growth experiences, whatever you want to call it.  It's been tough and tumultuous for many, and it may be tempting to fall into old habits of living the life of a victim, hardening or closing off to love, or reacting out of anger/violence, so I wanted to share with you tips on cultivating softness and femininity during uncertain times.  

To be soft is powerful.   To be soft is to be present.  To be soft is to be grounded.  To be soft is to be open to receive and give love "the return".  To be soft is to be curious.  To be soft requires self-care.  To be soft is to be healthy, happy, and whole.  To be soft is to retreat inward.  To be soft is to find movement with the flow of life.  To be soft is to surrender to whatever comes your way.  To be soft is to let go, trust, and have faith.  To be soft is to let go of social conditioning.  To be soft is to embrace your divine femininity.  To be soft is to approach conversation with curiosity.   To be soft is to be a good listener.  To be soft is to hold the space for those that need you.  To be soft is to let go of the idea of right or wrong.  To be soft is to meet those around you where they are at.  To be soft is to be open minded.  To be soft is to choose the life of inner peace, inner joy, presence and consciousness.  To be soft is to protect and nurture thy self to feel safe.  Just be, less doing.  Become like bamboo strong & flexible without losing your power.  Embrace growth, trust, wisdom, self-love, self-worth, surrender.  Let go.  Relax.  Flow.  Be open to receive and be directed by a higher source.

How to stay soft during uncertainty:

1.  Get grounded.  Breath.  Meditate.  Root down into the earth.  Get outdoors.  Go barefoot.  Be mindful.  Notice and take in what's around you.  Stay present.  Focus on the breath.  Focus on sensation.

2.  Meditate daily.  Go inwards.  The answers are already inside of you.  Trust that.  Quit looking outside for the wisdom you have inside.  Close your eyes. Count your breath.  Focus on your third eye -the seat of your intuition.  Turn your senses inward.  Trust your gut.  Listen to your heart.  Observe the thoughts as they pass by like waves in an ocean.  

3.  Limit social media and technology use.  Turn off the news.  Turn off facebook.  Turn off instagram.  Turn your cell phone on airplane mode.  Disconnect from technology and outer influences.  Go within.  

4.  Eat healthy nutritious whole foods: fruit, high quality protein, and vegetables.  Avoid processed foods, sugar, caffeine and alcohol.  Drink plenty of water and herbal teas.

5.  Get some mindful movement in every day, multiple times a day: yoga, reiki, dance, QiGong, Tai Chi, walking, hiking, biking, skiing.

6.  Breath deeply and slowly.  Focus on slow inhales and long exhales.   Inhale for the count of 4, hold for the count of 4, exhale for the count of 8.  Exhale with a sigh.  Exhale through pursed lips.  Take deep belly breaths.  Feel the expansion on the inhale the release on the exhale.  

7.  Maintain a positive attitude with positive thinking and affirmations.   "I am safe and protected.  I am love and light.  I am strong and confident.  I am unconditional love.   I am worthy of love.  I am that.  I am home.  I am present and grounded.  I am a conscious being."

8.  Approach conversation with curiosity and be a good listener.   Practice deep listening.  Make eye contact.  Move from a space of the middle ground - there is no right or wrong.  People's opinion is based on their perception, which is based on cultural beliefs and life experiences.  Sometimes the best response is no response.  Save your energy.  Ask yourself: Is it true?  Is it kind?  Is it necessary?   If the answer isn't yes to all it may not be worth saying.  Practice compassionate communication and non-violent communication.

9.  Discharge  people are projecting like crazy right now especially if they don't work on themselves or are carrying unresolved trauma, so it's important to discharge multiple times/day.  Here are some examples: wave your hands in the air, fluff your hands, snap your fingers, envision an energetic sphere that surrounds you sealing in good energy and letting go of anything that no longer serves, shake your body,  shake it off, exhale through pursed lips, exhale out of the mouth, move your body: reiki, qigong, acupuncture, chiropractic care, movement practices, take an epsom salt bath with sea salt, throw rocks outdoors or into a stream, shower, silent scream, talk to loved ones and friends, meditate.

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.”

― Rumi

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